9/17/2023 0 Comments Allison raskin wiki![]() ![]() And I guess the real thing I am wrestling with is whether it’s okay to find a part of my own body disgusting. They’re both kind of misshapen and-at least to me-not aesthetically pleasing. I also find the shape of my knees in general to be off-putting. Unless things drastically change as I continue to heal (which might happen!), I now have two significant scars on my right knee, which is fine except I kind of find them disgusting. ![]() The same cannot be said for my right knee. You had to look pretty closely to even notice I had something done. When I had knee surgery as a teenager on my left leg, they were able to do it arthroscopically and the lasting visible results were minimal. What I feel less optimistic about is my relationship to my legs. (Shout out to Maintenance Phase for the assist in this area! What a podcast!) I still have work to do around all of this-especially in the aging arena-but I’m feeling optimistic about it. One of the things that has helped me is completely reconceptualizing my ideas around weight and no longer viewing fat as inherently bad or undesirable. Every day I try to find a balance between honoring these changes so I don’t avoid them, and not tearing myself down for no longer perfectly fitting into harmful societal standards of beauty (extremely thin and youthful). ![]() I am significantly heavier than I used to be and after years of “looking so young” I am finally looking my age (32!). If any of you have been following me for a while, you’ve probably noticed that my body has changed quite a lot in recent years. And in a wider sense, it’s me trying to create a healthy relationship with this vessel that gives me life (i.e., my human form). So, what exactly is my stuff? In a narrow sense, it’s me trying to come to terms with the two new scars I have on my right knee and the shape of my knees in general. But I still think there can be value in seeing people work through their issues in real time-even if all it does is give you permission or encouragement to do the same in your own life about your own stuff. When it comes to my relationship to my own body, nothing feels settled or clear and I’m scared I might offend or disrupt other people’s journeys by hashing through my own. I’m nervous to write about what I’m about to write about. ![]()
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